a decision made. . .

13 01 2009

On the 12th of August, 2007, the group had a dance rehearsal in Mhyco’s place. That was also my ‘brother’ Echo’s birthday. Well, as time passed by they became very open to me even if they are all guys. It feels so good that they share their problems with me and ask for advices. Guys are not usually like that. They seldom express their dark side, right? Echo is not that feeling well that day because he wanted Charmagne to be with him in his special day, unfortunately, she can’t make it. I let them hold their simple celebration but I did not drink. Ashley played his theme song with Hazel, Bert and their friend Josh are chatting even if they are drunk, Echo was almost asleep because of his longing  for Charmagne and Mhyco accompanied me sharing stories of our past relationships. One thing is just common with them: they were all drunk that time and we’re already on the rooftop. I don’t know if they’re all asleep except for the two of us. I was just sitting on a chair admiring the very nice view of the city. I stand up to take a better look of the scene and we continued talking to each other until we jumped into ‘our’ relationship. What do we really have between us? Why do we feel that way even though we have our own lovelives? I felt him embraced me from behind. I told him I’m confused with what I feel for him and if it will continuously grow, I don’t know how to hold it back anymore. He told me he also was confused with what’s happening between us. I said I think we better distance from each other to avoid it as well as to prevent hurting others. He refused to my idea and said that we’ll only end up hurting ourselves. I asked him what he really feels for me and he answered that all he’s sure of is that he wanted to be with me always and that he’s very happy when I’m around. Then he asked me and I couldn’t answer but cry saying that he’s so insensitive not to feel that. I think he wanted to hear it straight from me. He hugged me tighter. I gathered the guts to tell him directly that I like him. He told me he felt the same and actually made me realized that he’s courting me at the same time like Jobel, he just did not formally asked my permission. After that, he comforted me to stop me from crying not knowing the others were secretly watching us. They started teasing us. From that day on, we decided to give our feeilings a try. Yes, even if we’re involved in different relationships we couldn’t help but feel special for each other. My boyfriend that time stopped communicating with me. I don’t know what’s his problem. He is longing for the care of his long distance girlfriend and fall for me because according to him, I’m different when it comes to taking care of the one I love. I formally answered him on the 12th of August, 2007 at 6:05pm, Sunday, as we watched the sunset from their terrace. Afterwards, the others and I decided to go home. Before Bert parted ways from us, he secretly warned me to be ready of the consequences of what we’ve done and told me that he just don’t want to see me hurt but still said that whatever happens, he’s there to support us. Mhyco and I know that the news will hit big in school if it explodes. And so we better be ready. The next day in school, we came together. Mhyco announced to his classmates that I already answered him and we a lot of congratulations. Good thing Jobel is not there. I know he’ll be hurt. But the next days came, we knew that he heard about it ’cause he’s avoiding us. I can’t blame him. I don’t want to hurt him but I don’t want to lie to him as well. Looking forward, I thought everything with Mhyco will be ordinary… but I was wrong…

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