Pagbabalik ng Nakaraan. . .

23 01 2009

bakit kaya may mga taong magmamahal kunwari pero sandli lang, iiwan ka din?.,.

xempre kung alam mong iiwan ka lang nya bakit mo pa siya mamahalin db? aun nga e kung alam mo sana…

pero wag ka, kahit matagal na kayong wala at nakita mo na ang taong nagpapasaya lage at inaalagaan ka, saka naman sya muling magpaparamdam at guguluhin ang buhay mo sa pagkatrying-hard na makuha ka ulit…

bkit di na lang sila makuntento sa ginawa nila at matuwa kasi masaya ka na at nararanasan ang mga di nya nagawang iparamdam sa’yo?..

let me give you an example…

like my ex… nagkita kame s bday party ng barkada namen last week and nalaman nila na malayo naun sakin ang boyfriend ko dahil sa training nya at wala kaming communication as of now… actually before that pa, nararamdaman ko na xa… sa texts niya at sweetness everytime na nagkakataong magkikita kame… eh kasi naman he’s obviously sweeter now compared to how he treats me nung kame pa…

sa party, lagi kameng kinakanchawan ng barkada at parang pilit na binabalik ang nakaraan samen.. hehe… helow??? almost 2 years na kaya ang nakakaraan nun kame ay magkahiwalay ng landas… move on guys!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ ahehe.. at kahit anung gawing lakad para sa kanya ng barkada namen, friendship nalang talaga cguro mabibigay ko… why ko nasabi un?…

first of all, kuntento na ko at masayang-masaya sa current lovelife ko at temporary lang naman ang situation namen naun ng boyfriend ko..ย  at second, isn’t it awkward na pumayag ka makipagbalikan sa ex moh na xa pa ang nakipagbreak sa’yo sa past relationship nio?… i admit sweet ako sa lahat ng mga kaibigan ko pero different when it comes to love… aun, kaya ipinaliwanag ko naman sa kanila ng matigil na ang katatanong kung may pag-asa pb?..

aun, drunkardness si ex ko dat night at lalo naman naging sweet… akala ko dala lang un ng alak… wahehe… ๐Ÿ˜‰

kaso nun nahimasmasan na e lalo atang naging seryoso… nun kame ay nakapagsolo sa usapan, di ko tuloy naiwasan magtanong sa kania para may mapagusapan kame… tinanong ko sya kung talaga bang nabigla lang sya sa naramdaman nya para sakin nun kaya nya ko niligawan, <un kasi and reason nya skin nun kya sya nkipagbreak).. abah nabigla ang bruho at tinanong pa sakin kung sinabi nya daw ba talaga yun!!! amnesia?? well, sabi nya hindi daw yun totoo… pero hanggang naun ay di ko parin alam ang dahilan… sa mga kwento ng barkada namin about sa mga nangyayari after ng break-up namen, di ko lam kung maniniwala ako pero humaba ang hair ng inyong lingkod… kasi naman, finally, even after 2 years eh inamin nyang mahal pa nya ako… feel ko naman kasi sa totoo lang, we remained close friends nun ngbreak kame at di xa nagGF cmula nung ngbreak kame… anlabo noh?…

nweiz, gnun padin xa until now at wala din ako idea kung anuh ba talaga ang gusto nyang mngyre…

haay, nid q reaxons nio poh.,.





right here waiting. . .

14 01 2009

Yes, we didn’t have any major concerns except for now. Last December 15, 2008, Mhyco was ordered by his superiors in the company he applied for to go to the province where their training institute is located. I accompanied him there the next day and waited for him to finish what we’ve came for. He excitedly told me that he passed all the interviews and examinations and he’s in for the 3-month training in the same institute. Of course, I’m very happy for him and proud. Although I know that it will be the start of another episode in our relationship…

He was scheduled for the training on the 10th of January, 2009. The sad part is that he has to stay in there for the entire three months and communication between us would be very seldom. Trainees are not allowed to bring cellphones and other stuff which are not included in their official list of things to bring. Only those necessary uniforms and for personal hygiene are allowed. I asked the guards there before of the usual things that’s happening in the place. They said that visitors are only allowed after a month, just for nine hours in one day. They are not even permitted to go out in Sundays to use payphones to call their relatives. At first, I thought of it as unfair because they are the only company who’s very strict in their training course but I have no choice. I knew he had waited for such a long time for that rare opportunity to come. And now that he’s almost there, I don’t have the right to stop him. He had worked for it several months after he graduated and I know that he deserves it…

We spent the rest of the time together almost everyday before he left. I was the one who organized and fixed his things for the training and we’ll never avoid sentimental moments as the time was fast approaching. I wanted to accompany him to the institute but he wouldn’t let me at first. He said he doesn’t like those kind of moments. But I managed to make him agree since I was very insistent. Before we parted ways, we went first to a mall nearby and entertained ourselves inย  a game arcade. To tell you the truth, I almost forget about us being away from each other for three months without communication. I wished the time stopped there. But we have to face the reality. I was so depressed the very moment I got up the bus home and him walked towards the institute….

Now, it’s only been 5 days after he left. It’s like a month for me. Being with someone you only wished to be with as always for the rest of your life is out of your sight and you do not even know what’s happening to him. He never slipped out of my mind. I’m missing him so much. I realized how luckier I am than he is right now because I’m able to watch our videos together in my mp5 and hear his voice on his recordings. But him? He only has the photo album with plenty of our pictures together which I personally made myself as what he requested me to do. I remember he used to remind me about it from time to time that he forgets other things he needed to bring but never the pictures. He explained to me why and I fully understood it. It’s because since they are not allowed to bring phones to communicate or other devices to entertain themselves, the only thing that he could do is to look at our pictures while reminiscing our sweet moments together. I am so worried how bad he feels of the torturing training and longing for love and care. But as what he said in his message before he left, <he recorded it in my mp5 the night before he left), even though we’ll not see each other for a long time and have no communication, I have to be strong as what he’ll do, it doesn’t matter as long as what we feel for each other will never fade. His recording made me cry harder than ever. I know I have to be used to this kind of situation because after his training, a year of on-the-job-training overseas will follow so we’ll be apart again longer than the first time. Well, as what he said and promised, as long as the true love is there, distance and time won’t matter. I miss you so much, sweetheart!!! Take care always and Godbless!!! I’m just right here waiting for you… I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!





lovelife…..

6 01 2009

They say love comes at the right time.,. But when do we say that it’s the right time? How do we know if he’s the right person to love and to be with for the rest of your life?

When I was in my adolescent stage, I seldom think about love or even liking someone. I don’t even had a crush on anyone in school but like other girls, I fantasize my idols in my favorite boybands. Typical doing of a 12-year-old girl, right? But there’s this time that when I was in grade three, Icho, one of my male classmates courted me. I was feeling aloof from boys in that age of mine so I just ignored him even though I really see his efforts I mean his friends’ efforts, is that right? To be honest, that situation took a long time before he gave up. Haha, no hope. Oh no, it’s not because I don’ like him, <well, I don’t wanna lie but I really don’t like him… ^_^). It’s because I’m so serious into my studies that I barely appreciate those kinds of things. After that time, I was never courted again by a guy until I reached my fourth year, <well, I don’t think I’m ugly, haha!!).

Then this next guy I think is the most polite respectful of all guys that came into my life until now <not to mention the richest… =p). Edward is so gentle and I like his attitudes, well, almost. He used to give me many surprises which I think he knows I love surprises. For instance, he was unable to attend my 16th bday celebration because his classes were continuous until night. But he came to our house the day after with lots of food like it’s another party for my bday. Also, he made sure I enjoyed our first date. We watch movie at the cinema, played in the arcade, ate a lot, he was the one who taught me how to play billiards as well, and even bought me gift before we go home. Perfect, right? At Valentine’s Day, he gave me a big stuffed toy and invited me to watch a romantic movie that time. In Christmas, he wanted to surprised me when he went to our house, sadly I was out with my sisters and only mom was home. I came home but he wasn’t there already but what was the surprised? He left me a huge teddy bear which is about half my size that made it so cuddly. And there’s also this day that he asked me out to eat. I was wondering when he gave me a small cheese muffin and he’s so insistent for me to eat it. I told him I’m still full and asked him to eat it instead. But he’s kind of trying it hard for me and begging me to even just give it one bite. I’m so shy that I didn’t agree. So, he gave it a bite up to the middle of the bread to my astonishment that there was a silver ring inside it. Just then I realized the idea. So sweet of him, right? Sadly, I lost it when we were once at a mall not sure where I had left it, <actually, the ring did not any of my fingers). But right before we graduated in high school, he again gave me another ring, he said it was a replacement for the one I had lost, <sorry… =’c). So, with a guy like that, wouldn’t you feel his true feelings for you? He respects you for who you are and attentively listens to you everytime you talk. I almost fall in love with him within more than a year that he’s courting me. Yes, almost…

Why? This was what had happened… We enrolled in college in diferent schools. Nope, it’s not the distance that matter for he still faithfully courted me. The thing is that he started acting like he owns me. I became annoyed of his attitude. I’m not sure f it sort of being overprotective but I think it’s not. He wanted me to tell him every detail that’s happening to me. I mean, hello? I think I deserve my privacy. I don’t feel being respected anymore. And because of that, my feelings for him started to fade away. Until the day I confessed to him about what I think what we have that time and find for words to tell him to stop his feeling grow more for me without him being hurt. Right. Of course, nobody’s not gonna feel hurt for that. I know he felt the pain but me as well. And I think that would be fair if I let him go and not keep him hoping that we’ll end up together. I know it’s not right but I pity him that time I saw his face and telling me to give him another chance and he’ll wait for me no matter how long it takes for me to make a decision. At first, I thought what I did was a mistake. Later then I realized I’ve made the right decision. For him to feel free and unobliged of taking care of me. But no worries, we remained friends….