new start. . .

13 01 2009

I decided to finally move on from the pain that I’m feeling again. I now spent a lot of time with my friends and usually ignore suitors. Of course, I don’t want to feel the same bad feeling over and over again. Be hurt? Awww, never again. But I know for a fact that a relationship never lasts without pain and sacrifices. Alright, enough of that. So my story continues with spending a lot of bonding time with lots of friends. After all, true friends are always there for you but lovers are not. Haha!!! I really have lots of friends on the MarE Dept. Almost all of them I know. Bert and I met each other in one of the parties I’ve attended with friends. Well, he’s also my schoolmate and we became good friends. One afternoon in school, Maics ask me to accompany her to the library to get something. She told me we go to the library which is usually used by engineering students especially marines. There I spotted Bert  with his pals on one table. I decided to approach them so I told Maics that I’ll wait for her there. And so when I went to them, Bert introduced me to his friends: Ashley <he’s a guy huh!), Echo, and Mhyco. I’ve later known that they are the hottest group of marines in school. Why? All of them are good in dancing, Ashley is one of the students on the higher rank, Echo is an officer of the Marine Corps Commanders and Mhyco is famous for being the best dancer in their Department. So, do you agree with me? Bert asked for my number and I gave it to him. We became very, very good friends. We hang out almost everyday. They made me realize that I don’t need a boyfriend to be happy as always which is an idea that I almost forget about. Did I mention that I’m more comfortable with my guy friends than gals? That’s true! My girl friends even feel jealous because of them. Well, what can I do? Girls usually talk either how sweet guys are or how rude they treat them. While guys talk about ‘real’ things. Real.. I mean, life… What we do everyday, assignments, experiences, problems and funny things that happened to us. Everything that we can share to others. I so enjoyed those times.

On the other hand, one of their classmates was seriously courting me. Jobel is nice, a co-officer of Echo, a gentleman and he’s kinda cute, really, but we seldom talk when where together which made me think that if we’ll be a pair, it’s not gonna work out. The thing is, as time passes, I became closer to Mhyco. He’s cute of course. And one of the things that I like about him is that he acts natural around everybody. He’s fun to be with and I don’t feel shy when I’m with him. I feel very comfortable. One night, after classes, Joamy and I headed to the final auditions for the most prestige dance group in our school. Luckily, we passed so we’re very overwhelmed and went to our friends who are drinking that time in one of our favorite hang-out. Of course our friends were so proud of us and for celebration, they ordered more drinks and shared it with us. I am so tired that day so just a few shots and I already felt dizzy. Mhyco offered a seat beside him so when I think I have to take a little rest, I have no choice but to lean on him. Even though I know that Jobel is there, I think he’s still don’t have the guts to be always around me to take care. All of us knew that he’s so jealous when he saw us. I don’t know what’s gotten into me actually. To make a long story short, I still have a boyfriend that time but thought that we’re already off since he’s not communicating with me anymore. The issue of Jobel courting me is like a showbiz much-awaited report for the MarE Dept. Mhyco also has a girlfriend that time and I really don’t have an idea of what kind of relationship they have.

The question was, why do we feel the same way for each other? I know it’s wrong but I felt like I can tell him what I feel inside me. Going back to the drinking session, I decided to go outside for a while to take a breathe of fresh air. The group followed me. In a court near by, I called Mhyco and chat with him for a while. I told him what I really feel about what’s happening that time and he asked me why I was telling him all of those but I just answered him I feel that I can trust him. The next day on my way to school, I received a message from an anonymous texter. I asked who he was and he introduced himself right away. I learned that it was Mhyco and he was asking how do I do after that night. I told him what happened when Echo and I went home together. Echo was drunk and he vomitted inside the jeepney exactly when I was about to alight so I have no choice but to asked him to come with me. He continuously throw out and when I think he’s already feeling better, I let him go home. I then wondered how he got my number and asked him. He confessed that when Bert asked for my number at the library, it was their idea and said they’d used his phone. He asked me if it’s fine. Well, I had no choice and I think that will be just fine. We became textmates as well ’cause of that. But at the peak of our closeness, many rumors spreaded. Some said that it’s not good that I’m closer to him knowing that Jobel is courting me and that Mhyco has a girlfriend. I pondered on my options that week. I know that I feel for Mhyco but I don’t want to hurt Jobel. I had different decisions everyday. Sometimes I decided to just answer Jobel even if I know I can only offer him friendship. Then I also thought of continuing my growing feelings for Mhyco since I know for fact that he also likes me. But finally before a new school week begins, I’ve made up my mind that I’m just gonna distance myself from the two of them so that I’ll be avoiding any improvement in our feelings and I’ll not destroy their friendship. But still, the opposite of that happened. I don’t want to boast but I just wanna tell you what happened next. It’s like their competing for my attention. They are waiting for me every other day to fetch me home. I’m so flattered, haha! That situation continued for quite some time until the day we’ve been waiting for finally took place…


6 01 2009

They say love comes at the right time.,. But when do we say that it’s the right time? How do we know if he’s the right person to love and to be with for the rest of your life?

When I was in my adolescent stage, I seldom think about love or even liking someone. I don’t even had a crush on anyone in school but like other girls, I fantasize my idols in my favorite boybands. Typical doing of a 12-year-old girl, right? But there’s this time that when I was in grade three, Icho, one of my male classmates courted me. I was feeling aloof from boys in that age of mine so I just ignored him even though I really see his efforts I mean his friends’ efforts, is that right? To be honest, that situation took a long time before he gave up. Haha, no hope. Oh no, it’s not because I don’ like him, <well, I don’t wanna lie but I really don’t like him… ^_^). It’s because I’m so serious into my studies that I barely appreciate those kinds of things. After that time, I was never courted again by a guy until I reached my fourth year, <well, I don’t think I’m ugly, haha!!).

Then this next guy I think is the most polite respectful of all guys that came into my life until now <not to mention the richest… =p). Edward is so gentle and I like his attitudes, well, almost. He used to give me many surprises which I think he knows I love surprises. For instance, he was unable to attend my 16th bday celebration because his classes were continuous until night. But he came to our house the day after with lots of food like it’s another party for my bday. Also, he made sure I enjoyed our first date. We watch movie at the cinema, played in the arcade, ate a lot, he was the one who taught me how to play billiards as well, and even bought me gift before we go home. Perfect, right? At Valentine’s Day, he gave me a big stuffed toy and invited me to watch a romantic movie that time. In Christmas, he wanted to surprised me when he went to our house, sadly I was out with my sisters and only mom was home. I came home but he wasn’t there already but what was the surprised? He left me a huge teddy bear which is about half my size that made it so cuddly. And there’s also this day that he asked me out to eat. I was wondering when he gave me a small cheese muffin and he’s so insistent for me to eat it. I told him I’m still full and asked him to eat it instead. But he’s kind of trying it hard for me and begging me to even just give it one bite. I’m so shy that I didn’t agree. So, he gave it a bite up to the middle of the bread to my astonishment that there was a silver ring inside it. Just then I realized the idea. So sweet of him, right? Sadly, I lost it when we were once at a mall not sure where I had left it, <actually, the ring did not any of my fingers). But right before we graduated in high school, he again gave me another ring, he said it was a replacement for the one I had lost, <sorry… =’c). So, with a guy like that, wouldn’t you feel his true feelings for you? He respects you for who you are and attentively listens to you everytime you talk. I almost fall in love with him within more than a year that he’s courting me. Yes, almost…

Why? This was what had happened… We enrolled in college in diferent schools. Nope, it’s not the distance that matter for he still faithfully courted me. The thing is that he started acting like he owns me. I became annoyed of his attitude. I’m not sure f it sort of being overprotective but I think it’s not. He wanted me to tell him every detail that’s happening to me. I mean, hello? I think I deserve my privacy. I don’t feel being respected anymore. And because of that, my feelings for him started to fade away. Until the day I confessed to him about what I think what we have that time and find for words to tell him to stop his feeling grow more for me without him being hurt. Right. Of course, nobody’s not gonna feel hurt for that. I know he felt the pain but me as well. And I think that would be fair if I let him go and not keep him hoping that we’ll end up together. I know it’s not right but I pity him that time I saw his face and telling me to give him another chance and he’ll wait for me no matter how long it takes for me to make a decision. At first, I thought what I did was a mistake. Later then I realized I’ve made the right decision. For him to feel free and unobliged of taking care of me. But no worries, we remained friends….