here i go again…

19 01 2009

i admit i really expected a call from him yesterday… i really wanted to know how he is doing right now… i wanted to hear how much he loves me and how much he cares for me… i wanted to see him… i’m missing him badly… everytime that i’m alone i’m always crying ’cause of the pain that i’m feeling… i asked for a sign before… if he’s not gonna call me this Sunday, the next time that i’m gonna wait for his call is on mid-February… i hope he calls ’cause if not, we’ll just be able to see and talk to each other on mid-April when he comes back… <OMG!!! that’s for 3 months that i’m gonna bear which is driving me crazy… 😦





right here waiting. . .

14 01 2009

Yes, we didn’t have any major concerns except for now. Last December 15, 2008, Mhyco was ordered by his superiors in the company he applied for to go to the province where their training institute is located. I accompanied him there the next day and waited for him to finish what we’ve came for. He excitedly told me that he passed all the interviews and examinations and he’s in for the 3-month training in the same institute. Of course, I’m very happy for him and proud. Although I know that it will be the start of another episode in our relationship…

He was scheduled for the training on the 10th of January, 2009. The sad part is that he has to stay in there for the entire three months and communication between us would be very seldom. Trainees are not allowed to bring cellphones and other stuff which are not included in their official list of things to bring. Only those necessary uniforms and for personal hygiene are allowed. I asked the guards there before of the usual things that’s happening in the place. They said that visitors are only allowed after a month, just for nine hours in one day. They are not even permitted to go out in Sundays to use payphones to call their relatives. At first, I thought of it as unfair because they are the only company who’s very strict in their training course but I have no choice. I knew he had waited for such a long time for that rare opportunity to come. And now that he’s almost there, I don’t have the right to stop him. He had worked for it several months after he graduated and I know that he deserves it…

We spent the rest of the time together almost everyday before he left. I was the one who organized and fixed his things for the training and we’ll never avoid sentimental moments as the time was fast approaching. I wanted to accompany him to the institute but he wouldn’t let me at first. He said he doesn’t like those kind of moments. But I managed to make him agree since I was very insistent. Before we parted ways, we went first to a mall nearby and entertained ourselves in  a game arcade. To tell you the truth, I almost forget about us being away from each other for three months without communication. I wished the time stopped there. But we have to face the reality. I was so depressed the very moment I got up the bus home and him walked towards the institute….

Now, it’s only been 5 days after he left. It’s like a month for me. Being with someone you only wished to be with as always for the rest of your life is out of your sight and you do not even know what’s happening to him. He never slipped out of my mind. I’m missing him so much. I realized how luckier I am than he is right now because I’m able to watch our videos together in my mp5 and hear his voice on his recordings. But him? He only has the photo album with plenty of our pictures together which I personally made myself as what he requested me to do. I remember he used to remind me about it from time to time that he forgets other things he needed to bring but never the pictures. He explained to me why and I fully understood it. It’s because since they are not allowed to bring phones to communicate or other devices to entertain themselves, the only thing that he could do is to look at our pictures while reminiscing our sweet moments together. I am so worried how bad he feels of the torturing training and longing for love and care. But as what he said in his message before he left, <he recorded it in my mp5 the night before he left), even though we’ll not see each other for a long time and have no communication, I have to be strong as what he’ll do, it doesn’t matter as long as what we feel for each other will never fade. His recording made me cry harder than ever. I know I have to be used to this kind of situation because after his training, a year of on-the-job-training overseas will follow so we’ll be apart again longer than the first time. Well, as what he said and promised, as long as the true love is there, distance and time won’t matter. I miss you so much, sweetheart!!! Take care always and Godbless!!! I’m just right here waiting for you… I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!